All Of The Mountain House Memes

My hiking partners and I have a running joke about what Mountain House meals do to my gastrointestinal system, and what my gastrointestinal system does to my pants and everyone around me as a result.  It's the sort of thing that makes me happy I already had a trail name before this came up.

With thanks to David Vitti!

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Trail Magic Recipes For Home: Jack's Apple Cake

My Mom (AKA "Jester's Mom") is well known in the hiking community as an excellent baker of all sorts of Trail Magic goodies.  The problem: normally, you have to do the work of actually hiking to benefit from this.  And who wants to do that?

Jester's Mom on the AT.

This is the second in a series of blog posts (see the first HERE) that will provide you with the ability to enjoy Trail Magic baked goods from the comfort of your couch, your bed, or even the floor, should your hiking lifestyle put you in the position of not being able to afford furniture.  Or maybe you'll make a cake and drive to the nearest trail to give some out to hikers, only to discover that you've eaten three-quarters of it on the way there.

This recipe is named "Jack's Apple Cake" not because Baltimore Jack Tarlin has anything to do with the recipe or the baking of the cake.  It isn't even named after him because I mention bourbon in the recipe.  It's called "Jack's Apple Cake" because if you take one anywhere within a quarter-mile of Jack it will most likely disappear, never to be seen again.

Jack's Apple Cake  
Makes: A Big Heavy Cake
 
Prep Time: 40 minutes (preparing apples is a pain)
Cook Time: 1-1/2 to 1-3/4 hours

Ingredients:
6-7 large apples (Rome, Stayman, or Granny Smith) 
3/4 cup sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
4 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups sugar
1 tsp salt
4 tsp baking powder
1 cup orange juice
4 eggs
1 cup cooking oil
non-stick spray
 
What else you will need:
Sifter, large mixing bowl, small bowl, mixer, tube pan, apple slicer/corer, 1 bottle Bourbon.

Directions:
1. Pour yourself a glass of bourbon.  You’ll want it after doing all of the work on the apples.
2. Peel, core, and slice the apples.  Split them into two even amounts.
2a. Have some bourbon.  You earned it. 
3. Mix the sugar and cinnamon together in a small bowl, set aside.
4. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
5. Combine flour, sugar, salt, baking powder and sift into a mixing bowl.  Make a well in the center, like digging a cathole.  Okay, that was gross.  Don’t think of it like that. 
6. Into the well, add the orange juice, eggs, and oil.  Beat well with the mixer.
7. Spray a tube pan with non-stick spray and then pour half of the batter into it.  Spread half of the apple slices over it and sprinkle with half of the cinnamon/sugar mixture.
8. Cover with the rest of the batter, top with the remaining apples, sprinkle with the remaining sugar.
9. Bake at 350 degrees for about 1-1/2 hours until cake is done.  It sometimes takes a little longer, maybe another 15 minutes.  But starting at 1-1/2 hours you should occasionally poke it with a knife or something to test it.  If the knife comes out clean it’s done.  If blood pours out of the cake, you have spectacularly screwed up the recipe.  Maybe lay off the bourbon next time.

What Jack's Apple Cake looks like two minutes
after receiving one in the mail and five
minutes before it's completely gone.

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Trail Magic Recipes For Home: Oreo Truffles

My Mom (AKA "Jester's Mom") is known far but possibly not wide as an excellent baker of all sorts of Trail Magic goodies.  The problem: normally, you have to do the work of actually hiking to benefit from this.  And who wants to do that?

Pat O'Donnell, badass baker and hiker

So this will be the first in a series of blog posts that will provide you with the ability to enjoy Trail Magic baked goods from the comfort of your couch, your bed, or even the floor, should your hiking lifestyle put you in the position of not being able to afford furniture.  Or maybe you'll make a batch and drive to the nearest trail to give some out to hikers, only to discover that you've eaten three-quarters of them on the way there.

The beauty of this recipe to me is that it doesn't really involve "baking," which makes it a good recipe for those who are afraid of ovens, those who are too impatient to let one pre-heat the whole way, and those who, if allowed to use an oven, would burn the house to the ground. 

Oreo Truffles

Makes: 4 doz. or 48 servings, 1 truffle each (alternately, if you are alone in the house when you make these, it sometimes makes 1 serving of 48 truffles)

Prep Time: 45 minutes

Total Time: 1 hour 45 minutes

Ingredients:

1 pkg. (8oz) Philadelphia Cream Cheese, softened

1 pkg. (15.5oz) Regular Oreo Cookies, finely crushed (about 4-1/4 cups), divided

2 pkg. (8 squares each) Baker's Semi-Sweet Chocolate

What else you need:

Mixing bowl, mixer, large heatproof bowl, pan/pot for simmering water, wax paper, baking sheet, two forks 

Directions:

1. In a mixing bowl, mix Cream Cheese and 3 cups cookie crumbs until well blended.

2. Shape into 48 (1 inch) balls and place on wax-lined tray.  Refrigerate for 15 minutes.

3. Place broken up chocolate in a large heatproof bowl set over a pan of simmering water; stir until melted and smooth.  Note: bowl should not sit IN the water, but should rest on top of pan/pot.

4. Dip balls in melted chocolate (you’re allowed to giggle softly to yourself at that direction, but let’s not get carried away); place back on waxed paper-covered baking sheet.  Sprinkle with remaining cookie crumbs.

5. Refrigerate one hour or until firm.  Store in tightly covered container in refrigerator.

Tip:

How To Easily Dip Truffles: Add truffles, in batches, to bowl of melted chocolate.  Use 2 forks to roll truffles in chocolate until evenly coated.

Remove truffles with forks, letting excess chocolate drip back into bowl.  Place truffles on sheet.

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