Anish Breaks Speed Record For Lunch At ALDHA-West Gathering

Speed records have been a hot topic lately in the world of long distance hiking, with 2013 seeing record-setting hikes on both the Pacific Crest Trail and the Appalachian Trail.  But it would be difficult to describe the awe with which most are describing the latest record breaking feat -- the shattering of the speed record for Lunch at the ALDHA-West Gathering.

When Heather “Anish” Anderson sat down for Lunch on September 28th of this year, many thought the record, set in 2008, was unbeatable.  But Anish knocked a full 35 seconds off of it, an unheard of amount of time in a field where records are normally broken by seconds. 

Anish, struggling momentarily with the soup.

Previous record holder Joe “Tatu-Jo” Kisner, who set the previous mark of 2 minutes, 42 seconds in 2008, was on hand at Camp Augusta Saturday.  “Anish is a machine,” said Kisner, “I only recently switched to veganism, which this year made Lunch incredibly confusing for me.  But she has Lunch down.  We were all rooting for her.”

While Anish says that the trail community is mostly supportive,  some don’t see the point of breaking Lunch records.  “I could never eat Lunch that fast,” said one member of ALDHA-West, “you know, EYOL and all, but I don’t know how you can enjoy Lunch like that.  I think you have to slow down, savor it.” (That member preferred to remain unnamed for this story, stating, “yeah, the thing is, I prefer to do my smack-talking anonymously on the internet”) 

Anish takes this point of view in stride.  “There are occasionally people who are critical of the speed at which I eat.  But I really do enjoy it.  I tell people that I’m eating the same Lunch as them.  Only faster.  And without meat.  Or chewing.”

The website Fastest Known Time (FKT) doesn’t recognize Lunch records, and it's all done on the honor system.  But there is no doubt in anyone’s mind that this record is genuine.  Said Barney “Scout” Mann, “I was sitting right next to her the whole time.  She was eating Lunch.  And I own a watch.  It’s not too hard to figure out.”

Scott Williamson, Anish, and Tatu-Jo: Big Names In Speed Lunching

With a new record of 2:07 set, many discussed the possibility of what was once thought impossible -- a sub-two minute Lunch.  “I think it’ll happen eventually,” said Tatu-Jo, “Lunch records are all about challenging yourself.  Maybe Scott will do it.  Maybe he’ll figure out a way to Yo-Yo Lunch.  Who knows?”

What’s next for Anish?  She has entered the lottery for the Hard Rock 100 and hopes to have a chance to be a part of the race, which starts on her 33rd Birthday.  If she doesn’t get a spot via the lottery, she plans to break the record for Eating An Entire Birthday Cake At High Altitude, a record currently held by Sarah “Coyote” Holt.

(Update: Shortly after the record was set, Anish’s record was broken at the same Lunch by Cam “Swami” Hogan, who shaved two seconds off the record while eating Lunch in a supported fashion -- with assistance from Justin “Trauma” Lichter.) 

Swami Breaks Anish's Record With Assistance From Trauma